Please do not add to it tons of expensive DLCs and micro transactions. 
A real Utopian System does not have literally any taxes. 
In a real Utopian System there are only developers and their robots.
You completely forgot about transferring human minds to machines. Of course bad guys could say that in some cases it would be a waste of space, but that’s why they are called “bad guys”. 
There are lots of really hard NWO scenarios, but yours is not that light as you may think … First of all there is only job, buying & selling mentioned - where is for example fun? hahah
and so on … ok, now seriously …
On the process of simplify taxes you most probably forgot about other ways to increase amount of your money. Advertisement, investing and lots of stuff not mentioned here. You would need some knowledge of how such things works in practice. Give some random chance for fail and win for all taken decisions.
Finally every good thing needs to end, so you need to have an interesting ending of your story. You can have multiple endings and if for some reason none of them are reached you can anyway end this with a financial crush - that always works. Sorry, looks like I’m a “bad guy” here.
In some cases it’s also good to attach a demo if you have. It’s easier to imagine how to make (let’s say) a web page better if you can click on it. 
